The title is kind of how I feel right now. After spending a long day with my parents, I have realized they have absolutely no idea how to talk to me at all. But I don't really have anything to say to them, either... which is a pretty depressing thing to realize.
Like is there some kind of manual parents can read for dealing with newly independent children? I feel like maybe I should be putting more effort into this, making things not so painfully awkward for us all but what is there for me to do? My mom talks to me like I am 5 years old and then gets angry when I point out that I'm not, and my dad is socially retarded. AGH. Sorry, really needed to get that off my chest!
Last night, I got dinner with a friend and then some other people came over and we played around on Photo Booth (I've had this computer for almost 6 months now and as of last night, I had yet to use it).
Today I saw "Black Swan," and it was really fucked up but also completely amazing. I've never really liked any of Darren Aronofsky's other films but this one was just totally immersing. I love it when you see a movie where it's so obvious just how much work was put into every single aspect of it-- the dialogue, the camerawork, the art direction-- to make it a wholly cohesive narrative.
In other news, tomorrow is Christmas so that means more movies and Chinese food! And then its two days of everything being closed (tomorrow and Sunday), and then it's Monday, and both my parents are working so I can finally not have to awkwardly entertain them and maybe I can get started on some reading to do from now til when I won't be bored anymore. I want to go to a Pilates class but weirdly enough, there are no Pilates studios in my town. So I guess that means I'll be doing it in my living room while I surf etsy slash contemplate a haircut slash try and figure out what I'm taking next semester. How many days till break ends?
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
can't you find a clue when your eyes are all painted sinatra blue
Is the first break home from college supposed to feel this weird? I don't know, something about being home makes me feel so stagnated and just stuck. It's like I've moved on from this place and am not sure what to do with myself now that I am here. I do not want to see people from high school. I do not want to do things with my parents. All my fun and excitement and lovely people are in Ohio, not here!
My house also feels very strangely dead or just not awake. Like I just suddenly noticed how... beige... everything is. And its like every single corner of the house is stuffed with newspapers or books, just paper. All the rest is so sparse.
So begins day 2 of break! I am trying to read Infinite Jest in its entirety to pass the time. So far it's not as hard to understand as everyone says, but chronologically it's a little confusing. I am wondering if David Foster Wallace is perhaps a little overrated. Also I am starting this blog cause Rachel inspired me to! And I will be starting my internship soon so that'll take up some time. Also rereading old books, trying to watch everything on my Netflix instant queue, doing more yoga, making clothes, FINALLY LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE. finally.
One thing I've noticed since being home is just how weird my parents are/ my relationship is with them. I don't think they can handle not babying me. I'm so independent at school so it really sucks to come home and feel under house arrest...
This stupid 1 hour you have to buy something Peets coffee internet time will be running out soon so I should go. I spent most of the time trying to write an email to my potential new roommate. emails just make everyone sound so awkward.
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